CAPTAIN PAT'S TALE OF OUR ENTRY TO THE BIG EASY

PARKING IN NEW ORLEANS

Having a big van is a real plus except when trying to park in the city. It is too tall to fit in garages. We called ahead of time and usually the hotel can valet it for us.

Driving in any kind of car in the French Quarter is a challenge. The streets are all one way, narrow, cabs are double parked, and everyone walks in the middle of the street. Pat was getting impatient to get to the hotel and was zooming down Bienville when a freshly coiffed bride, waving goodbye to her hairdresser, stepped backwards toward her double parked cab, and into the path of the Cross Country Cruiser. Fortunately Pat hit the brakes and not the corpse-to-be.

We pulled in front of the Royal Sonesta, which is on Bourbon St. at 3:45PM after a 400 mile drive down from Memphis. Pat found the Bell Captain and told him we needed help with our 23 bags, plus we needed the oversized van valeted. John, The Bell Captain, said we would have to park it ourselves. Pat invoked the name of Malcolm, who the the hotel said over the phone to see about valeting the van. John said "Malcom aint here, his mother died and he aint nobody anyway". Nevertheless, John proved to be helpful with all our needs and he gave Pat a map to a secure surface lot 4 blocks away at Rampart and St. Louis. The family stayed at the hotel and Pat went to park the pariah.

Nobody likes the van in their lot because it has a protruding tailgate hitch on which we keep a giant cooler. This lot was no exception. Pat pulled it into a space but the hitch stuck out into the entry drive aisle. "You have to move it over here" said the smoking, weatherbeaten attendant. So Pat moved it over where directed, where the hitch now protruded into the exit aisle. Somehow this was more acceptable. Now for the transaction:

"How much?" asks Pat.

"$60 a day or $10 for 12 hours."

"Huh?"

"You just want 12 hours right?"

"Actually, I want (2) 12 hours. Here is $20."

"It don't work that way."

When Pat questioned him as to this bizarre pricing structure, the attendant said, "It helps the owner keep track of cars that have been on the lot a long time." And incredibly, there was a sign confirming the price: 12 Hours - $10

24 Hours - $60

So Pat gave him $10.

"See you at 4:30 AM" says the attendant.

Pat says "I might be 5 hours late - what happens then?"

"Well, a different guy will be here, he might assess you a $10 late fee. It depends on how he feels about you."

Well, $30 is better than $60, so Pat left.

When Pat returned the next morning, a different guy was there. Pat said "I owe you another 12 hours for the big van."

"Sure" the guys says. "$10"

Pat says"Can I pay you two $10 for two 12 hours instead of coming back?".

"Sure" the guys says. "Why not?".

After all it is the Big Easy!